I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
