I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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