My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
