the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
