So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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