these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
