Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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