There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
