I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
