Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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