I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
