You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize