It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
