I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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