I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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