her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
