The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
