Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
