**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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