hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
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