So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
