I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
