Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
