Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Who died my cat blue again?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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