I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
