It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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