guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You're like the curious george of whores
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
