I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
