butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize