is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
