Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
