This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
