so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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