there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
