I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
