So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
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