And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
