Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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