Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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