Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
