so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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