what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize