Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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