all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
