Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
