listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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