the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
