Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
