There was a lot of him and a little penis
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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