so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
