My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
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