How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
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