i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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