I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
