You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
