Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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