you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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