Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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