alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
