Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
