Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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