Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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