Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
There r osticjed everywhere
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
